Good and Bad Fear
Page 70

Peter McWilliams, in his book, You Can't Afford the Luxury of Negative Thought, agrees that we should fear some things--drinking poisons, leaping off tall buildings, and situations in which our physical body is in danger of extinction.  McWilliams says, "All other fears--the ones we face most often every day--are illusions.  They should be given no more credence or authority over our actions than television commercials, election-year promises, or people who try to sell us flowers in airports."

Life is sometimes like a spook-alley--the only way out is through it, but it's only temporary.  It's okay to feel the fear, but then go on and do the task anyway.  By doing what we fear, we can eliminate most fear in our lives.
 

The Physical Results of Laughter
Page 117

Laughter boosts endorphins, endorphins lift depression.  Mirthful laughter helps strengthen the immune system, muscles and bones, the respiratory system, the central nervous system, and the cardiovascular system.  Dr. William Fry, a Stanford University psychiatrist, says "Twenty seconds of laughter can double the heart rate during that time period, just like jumping on an exercise bike."

Next time you're in distress, flex your funny bone.  It might help.

* * *

Recently I attended a wedding reception and was surprised to find I was the first guest there.  A young man with a video camera greeted me and insisted that I state my name and give advice to the newly married couple.  Hesitant to appear before the camera and stumble over my words, I pleaded for a few minutes to collect my thoughts.  Finally, after much deliberation, I stepped cautiously before the camera and delivered a profound message to the bride and groom, then slipped into the reception line and reflected upon the wise advice I had just given.

Pictures were still being taken of the wedding party, but the bride's parents were nowhere in sight.  Suddenly, an older couple crowded into the wedding line and stood next to the groom's parents.  Curious about whom they might be, I turned to the woman behind me and asked about the couple.

"They're the brides parents," she answered.

"Is this the Courtland/Allan wedding?" I asked.

"This is the Loveland/Mitchell wedding," she laughed.

Right night, wrong wedding.  Eventually I found the right wedding.
 

Even Nice People Feel Anger
Page 59

Nice people get angry.  During my own therapy for depression, I discovered I was angry with God and with Ray--God for allowing my husband to die, Ray for abandoning me.  The feelings made me feel deep guilt, which just added to my depression.  At the time, my therapist pointed out that Jesus had been angry--he'd taken a whip and chased moneychangers out of the temple.  At first during my depression I didn't even know I was angry.  I displaced my anger, I was angry at the world because I felt so powerless about my loss, but I couldn't talk about it.  Imagine walking up to a relative and saying, "I'm furious at Ray because he died.  I'm angry with God because he allowed Ray to die."  Looking back now, I realize that my anger was a mask for loss, a loss of love, loss of control in my life, and a loss of self-esteem.

A furious young man uttering obscenities was ushered into my office by an uptight teacher.  After the teacher left, he continued shouting obscenities and rambled on about hating the teacher, the school, and basically everything in the world.  Finally, I quietly said to him, "You're really hurting, aren't you?"

He started to cry and eventually told me about the recent death of his grandfather.  Here was a fatherless young man who had an unhappy relationship with his mother, and now the rock of his support system had been snatched from him in death.  His fishing friend and life-long buddy and companion was gone forever.  That's a lot of pain and loss for a teenager.
 

Time Changes Perceptions
Page 114

Time has a way of changing our perception.  My husband grew up in a small town.  As a young boy, he was fascinated by the trains that ran trough the community.  Once, upon a very frosty morning, he and his group of friends were crossing the railroad tracks when a friend dared him to place his tongue on one of the rails.  As many adventurous ten-year-olds might do, he accepted the dare, and immediately his tongue was frozen stuck to the rail.  No matter how hard he tried he could not free his tongue from the track.  Anticipating the arrival of the train, the group grew panicky.  One boy suggested warm water, but they were not anywhere near warm water.  Another piped up, "Maybe we should pee on it!"

At that suggestion, my husband began protesting, but was only able to utter undistinguishable sounds and flail his arms at the boys who were about to urinate on his tongue.  Finally one of the boys ran to a near-by home and returned with warm water.  Meanwhile the whistle of the approaching train echoed in the distance.

At the time, his situation wasn't funny at all. Now, as he shares it with his children, it's quite humorous.
 

Press On
Page 101

A gifted spiritual leader gave this advice about depression:  "Pressing on, even though surrounded by a cloud of depression, will eventually bring you out into the sunshine."

One of my favorite quotes, a statement by Calvin Coolidge, is:  "Press on:  Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.  Talent will not; nothing is more common that unsuccessful individuals with talent.  Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.  Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.  Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."